We live in a society that values independence and autonomy. The majority of seniors wish to remain in their home as they age. That being said, many older adults will decline mentally or physically as they age, putting their safety in jeopardy. Furthermore, this will ultimately affect their ability to remain in their home long-term. Lee Lindquist, MD is a gerontologist who has seen the pattern of seniors being reluctant to accept in home support, even if they risk their safety. She and her colleagues set out to discover what caused this reluctance and to come up with solutions. While our society emphasizes independence, we are all dependent on each other in one way or another.
This AARP article discusses the findings. First and foremost, the fear of losing one’s independence was a primary cause of reluctance. Followed by the fear of losing one’s physical health. Both of these worries stem from the fear of being admitted to a nursing home. In order to help your aging loved one overcome this way of thinking, reframe the concept of “independence”. We are all dependent on each other in one way or another.
The aging population often has a lack of trust towards people they don’t know. And rightfully so, since many seniors are the victims of elder abuse. However, put the senior in the driver’s seat. If they are able, let them pick who cares for them. Even consider having them do the research and interviews.
Speaking of control, the final reason for reluctance is one’s fear of losing control. Even something seemingly simple, like having someone go to the grocery store for them can elicit this feeling. Reminding them that they can still have control over most of their lives is important. For example, if they have a caregiver grocery shop for them, have the senior make the grocery list beforehand.
Finally, remembering that if you’re open to having help, this will lead to you staying in your home longer. Loss of independence and control is frightening. Try to reframe you or your loved one’s fear. From the time we’re born until we die, we will always require different help from others.