Helping your parents downsize is difficult. Sorting through piles of stuff is not the only hard part. Talking to your parents about sorting through their belongings can also be a challenge.
We all collect items throughout our lives. Some have sentimental value like the box of my grandmother’s china that has been carefully stored in our garage for 16 years. Others are just collecting dust, like the statuary cobra my husband painted when he was a teenager being stored in his parent’s attic. Either way, this article in SpareFoot discusses the importance of helping your parents (or yourself) downsize before a crisis hits. At that point it will often be too late, and will make the process much harder.
Starting the conversation early is crucial. Casually bringing up the topic over a family meal can be a good start. Involving siblings is important too. That way your parents can start thinking about how they want to disperse belongings among family members. If they are ready to let go, then items can be delivered to their chosen recipient. If not, it is important that they put it in writing for the future.
Whether or not you believe the elephant statue on the bookshelf is trash or not, each item tells a story to the owner. While you may be simply discussing downsizing, your parents may feel defensive. They may think you don’t value their belongings, and therefore parts of their life. it is important to acknowledge that their items have personal meaning and value. Sometimes offering to donate belongings to your parent’s favorite charity can help. Avoiding miscommunication is key.
In a home full of a lifetime of belongings, it can often feel overwhelming. Starting with the most important items can help. Aiding them in finding future “homes” for their most treasured belongings can provide comfort for your parents. Helping them to distinguish between meaningful belongings and ones that are not can help the process.
Establishing what is most important and valued by your parents can help you feel like you have honored your parents lives once they are gone. Inheriting a whole household of belongings can be overwhelming and time consuming. It can be problematic if your parents haven’t put in writing who gets items of value or sentiment. It can further be complicated by surviving family members fighting over who gets the elephant statue because it was promised to them 30 years ago.
By starting this process early on, you can hopefully avoid the hassle. It may even be a fun way to see parts of your parents lives you didn’t know about.