When a loved one is living with dementia, it can be a challenge to communicate with them like you used to. This can lead to frustration for everyone involved. Besides memory loss, one of the hallmark symptoms of dementia is trouble expressing thoughts. Word finding issues are very common. Due to these factors, friends and families often have trouble understanding those affected. It is important to fill your communication with genuine respect and warmth. While it is challenging for you, they likely feel just as frustrated.

This Very Well Health article discusses tips for talking to someone with dementia. Most noteworthy, refrain from “infantilizing” the person with dementia. In general, this means to not treat them like you would an infant. Often called “elderspeak”, this form of communication is almost never effective.

Think about how people talk to babies. They usually use a high pitch voice and get close to their face. This is certainly not appropriate for adults. Regardless of the severity of the dementia, talk to them with a respectful tone of voice. In addition, learn their preferred name or title. While terms like “honey” and “sweetheart” generally come from a place of affection, they can feel demeaning.

Also, don’t assume they have a hearing impairment. By assuming they are hard of hearing when they’re not, it can seem like you are yelling at them. Try speaking in a normal and clear volume and tone. If you learn they do have a hearing impairment, you can work to find the right volume to speak in. But automatically talking loudly can feel overwhelming. Especially when communication is already challenging.

When communicating with anyone, smiles and eye contact two of the most important things to remember. Likewise, with dementia patients a genuine smile can be encouraging. This along with consistent eye contact can really make a difference and lighten the mood. It lets them know you are interested and enjoy talking to them, no matter the challenges it brings.

Above all, remember to treat those with dementia like the adults they are. Dementia changes their abilities to communicate. But the need to be spoken to with respect is ever present. Remember to be patient. They may have difficulties finding words and expressing ideas. But dementia does not take away the basic human desire to connect with others.