According to a 2015 AARP report, 32.4 million Americans are unpaid caregivers. And nearly half of those were caring for an aging parent. Helping out aging parents can affect families in different ways. It can become stressful and emotional. Sibling relationships can be complicated. Then when caring for aging parents becomes part of the dynamic, tensions can run high. It can tear families apart as we have unfortunately witnessed. But there are ways around this unfortunate situation.
This article discusses the ways that caring for aging parents can cause conflict among siblings. Resentments can run high. When one sibling feels they are pulling all the weight, they can resent the other siblings’ minimal efforts to help. Money and worries about inheritance is another major contributing factor to sibling rivalries. However, experts suggest a few ways to avoid sibling conflicts.
When siblings try to guess how their parents want to be cared for, conflicts tend to arise. A simple way around this issue is to never wait until crisis strikes to figure out the plan. Therefore, encourage your parents to create and share a plan for when their health declines. It could be as simple as how long they wish to remain at home, who will be the designated care manager, and how much money is available to spend on care.
Next, give everyone a job. Typically, there’s a “primary caregiver” among siblings. Tension can flare up when they feel they’re the only one putting in effort. Most importantly, communication between siblings is key. Conflict can be minimized by involving everyone in the planning. AARP even has a Prepare to Care guide to help you.
Last but certainly not least, bringing in a professional can be essential. No matter how much you plan this out, caring for an aging parent is stressful. Professionals can help to mediate communications. They can also help connect you to the most appropriate resources for your parent. Companies like Arizona Elder Care have aging life care managers, social workers, and licensed fiduciaries that can help.
Finally, remember that the time spent caring for aging parents will be challenging. Maintaining the relationship with your siblings throughout this journey is imperative. After all, this is probably the time you will need their support the most.