Oh, forgetfulness! It’s on the tip of your tongue. We’ve all had that moment in a conversation. You know what you are trying to say, but the word you need is escaping you. This is a common occurrence in all languages and cultures. And there’s not much you can do about it.

“Tip of the tongue state” is what Tim Herrera calls this phenomena in this New York Times article. But this extremely frustrating and often embarrassing state is far from a sign of dementia or Alzheimer’s. It happens to everyone, no matter their age.  It happens to my Mom and her girlfriends, which is why she forwarded me this article so I would stop worrying. Thanks, Mom!

Researcher Lise Abrams is a psychology professor at University of Florida. She has studied this phenomena for 20 years. Needless to say, she has come up with a few theories on why and when this happens. First, words we don’t use as often will produce this state more easily. Furthermore, proper nouns such as someone’s name or the name of a place can cause this state. That’s because proper nouns are arbitrary names given to a specific person, place or thing.

The article asks us to try this experiment. Which is easier to remember? The foul-mouthed chef that stars in the cooking show on FOX, or the handheld device with numbers used to do math. Chances are, you found the word “calculator” faster than the name “Gordon Ramsay.” This is because you use and hear the word calculator more than the proper noun of this chef’s name.

Unfortunately, there is not much to do about tip of the tongue states. However, it may help to repeat certain words out loud more often. If you’re having trouble remembering the name of a specialist doctor who you only see once a year, say their name out loud a few times before your next meeting. This will likely help save you from some embarrassment from another one of those annoying tip of the tongue states!