A lot of us think of our parents as capable and strong. We think of them as they once were when we were young. There are thousands of books, websites, and articles on helping your aging parents. But there are far fewer resources available to help you through the variety of emotions you’re bound to experience as your parents age. As their health declines, baby boomers watch their parents and experience a roller coaster of emotions. Watching your aging parents is not an easy journey by any means. But know that your emotional experience is natural and normal. Grieving for aging parents is a process.
Psych Central explains that when you anticipate a role reversal, it is likely going to be frightening. We usually think of parents as the caregivers to us. So flipping the roles you have had your whole life can elicit fear. In addition, watching them become less functional is scary. Wondering what could happen to them as their health declines is worrisome. Grief will then likely set in. Regardless of any serious illnesses, grieving for how they once were is hard. Furthermore, each major change in health and abilities will add to the grieving process.
No matter how much you love mom or dad, anger and frustration can be a part of this journey. It’s hard to be patient as their abilities diminish and tasks take longer for them to finish. Then you may feel guilty for your frustration. After all, they are your parents who have likely cared for and loved you your whole life.
Of course, there are many factors to how you will experience emotions and grief for aging parents. Your involvement with them, as well as your relationship will play a role in the emotions you experience. If you usually handle change well, you may be less vulnerable. But at the same time, almost everyone will experience grief in some form as their parents age.
It is crucial to remember that every reaction you have to the aging process is valid. But controlling every aspect is simply not possible. At times, things will be out of anyone’s control. Symptoms of diseases, cognitive impairments, or diminished physical capacity are not able to be controlled by adult children. However, always remember, you are not alone in this challenging journey. Professionals at Arizona Elder Care are great resources for support. It is important to take care of yourself too.