Talking to your kids about aging is not an easy task for anyone. There are plenty of articles that discuss how kids can talk to their parents about aging. But there are very few that talk about the aging parent starting the conversation. When talking to your kids about aging, there are many things to consider.
This article in US News says it can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up. Many people, both parents and their adult children, avoid thinking about it. Yet the earlier you begin the conversation, the better and easier the outcomes will be later on.
Seniors often find it more empowering to bring up the topic themselves. Having your adult children decide important things like housing, finances, and estate planning can take away a sense of independence and freedom. Every family dynamic is different. Therefore, every conversation will be unique.
You may choose to discuss the process with all of your adult children. Or you might want to only involve some. Some seniors don’t feel comfortable sharing details with their adult children just yet. In this case, you can choose to create a file with your documents and simply share where it can be found. If you don’t feel comfortable involving your adult children at all, a trusted adviser (financial planner, attorney, fiduciary) can help. Hiring licensed professionals like Arizona Elder Care can be extremely helpful in helping to facilitate the conversation, put together a long term care plan and/or taking care of all the details on your behalf.
If you do decide to involve your adult children, there are some things to keep in mind. Be prepared for objections or differing opinions. Even as adults, your children may feel uncomfortable discussing details of this with you. It may bring up emotions that are uncomfortable or painful. They are worried about your well-being as you age. The aging process is a hard thing to anticipate for someone you love.
Whichever method of planning for your golden years you choose, it is so important to start the discussion early. The unknown is scary, so planning in advance with people you care about and trust can make all the difference.